An Elevator ... Personified

Elevators are awkward; they just are.  They are also oftentimes amusing.  Working downtown, on the 12^th floor, the elevator is unavoidable.  OK, it is avoidable … but I prefer not to sit at my desk sweating. 

I’ve worked downtown going on 7 years now; I take the elevator 3-4 times a day … this post has been a long time coming.  If an elevator had thoughts … they would surely consist of these …

• Easy buddy … no need to jam yourself into the elevator as if you’re going to cease to live if you don’t get on the elevator RIGHT NOW … how about we let the people out of the elevator first…

• Hey nice guy, no need to hold the doors open for everyone and their mother just because you can see them entering the building ... it's called an 'elevator bank' for a reason ... there's more than one...

• Who’s the funny guy facing towards the back of the elevator?  Face front, eyes down, just like everyone else… guy...

• Yes, the camera in the corner is real.  Yes, someone is actually watching you...

• Seriously, guy? You got on at street-level … and you just pressed "1" … ?!?  Reminder, put note above buttons: “if you’re lazy (or pregnant): floors 1-20, if you’re not lazy: Floors 3-20”...

• It’s awkward in here isn’t it … I thought the mirrored walls would help … this way eye-contact is unavoidable...

• Speaking of my mirrored walls … hey lady, this is an elevator, not a powder room...

• Hey guy … I know that no one called you, sent you a text, or emailed you … pulling out your phone and pretending so is lame;  Just cause everyone does it doesn’t make it cool...

• ‘DING’ [door opens] … everybody now, the elevator shuffle:  to the left … to the right… to the back…

• Will someone please give a speech?  Oh, … no one even talks in an elevator?   Then perhaps we should stop using ‘elevator speech’...

• Speaking of figure of speech … Seriously?!? … did someone seriously drop a deuce in their pants?!? Com’on dude … no one is actually supposed to do it!  That is just wrong.  Reminder, check camera for culprit … make mental note to plummet to the ground the next time he gets on...

• And no, guy, jumping will not save you when I plummet to the ground...

• Yes, the alarm button … actually triggers an alarm; hence the word ‘alarm’ on it...

• Speaking of buttons … hey YOU, yes you who's mashing the ‘door close’ button… I get it, I got it the first time you pressed it … your subsequent mashing isn’t going to make the door close any faster...

Mother's Day at Dairy Queen

Took a field trip to DQ to celebrate Mother's Day with the fam.  Needless to say, Claire and Audrey like chocolate ice cream cones... 

Closet Overhaul!

It is finished!  As a follow-up to the Teaser post... below are before and after pictures of our closet overhaul.

Before ...

After ... 2 cabinets, 4 cubbies, 4 lockers, 12 hooks, bench (re-purposed table) and floor baskets...

It wasn't without injury ... luckily I had Dora.

Closet Overhaul - Teaser

So we have, well ... had, a standard entryway closet by the garage.  And by 'standard' I mean roughly 5' wide, 2' deep, bi-fold doors and some wire shelving.

Heidi forwarded me the below picture ... "I want this."

  

I rarely balk at a house project.  My wife knows this ... and I'm pretty sure she takes advantage of me.  Nonetheless, I was motivated by the idea but was unfortunately stuck in the office.  

So ... I did what everyone does ... sketch out the project in Microsoft Excel.  Everyone does this - right?  [readers, all three of you, just said: "and ... nerd"].  

I recreated the closet space in a spreadsheet; each cell representing one square inch.  I shaded in areas for the would-be cabinets and bench, and sketched out the lockers/cubbies.  See below, in all its excel beauty:

Pictures of the plan coming to fruition, start to finish, coming soon.

Loving these Girls...

Last week we were down and out with some sort of nasty bug. I am incredibly thankful that everyone is feeling back to normal. We are enjoying BEAUTIFUL weather and spending time outside. A big accomplishment around here has been Claire's independence at playgrounds. She has gotten so much more stable on her feet and loves doing the equipment all by herself. I frequently hear, "I do it myself, Mommy." I am so proud of her.



Audrey has really started talking now. Her favorite word is most definitely "no." She says it all. the. time. Rivaling that is the word "up." She is a snuggler and loves to be held with her favorite possession...her blanket. We love her and can't believe how quickly she is growing up.